Territory
by Mibamonster
Summary: 'I could be your pet and you'd have to take care of me and I could lie on Lily's lap whenever I wanted and look under her skirts, and nobody would notice…' A late-night conversation between James and Sirius, featuring peeing for territory, girls and possibly becoming a pet.


The two young men were sprawled across a red couch, both with a bottle of Butterbeer in their hands. It was obvious they weren't the only ones living in that place; there was no way these men would have kept the place as neat as it was, nor would they have picked a couch matching the curtain and pillows matching the couch. However, for the moment they were the only ones there.

'Prongs, does Lily know we're Animagi?' Sirius said.

'What? Oh, no, she doesn't.' James yawned and stretched before placing his hands behind his head and looking at Sirius. 'She'd eat me alive if she found out. Why?'

'I was just wondering… If she doesn't know, where does she think the nickname Prongs comes from?'

James grinned lazily and stared up at the ceiling. 'From the other antlers I have when I'm not a stag.'

'She believes _we_'d call you by a nickname from _that_?'

'No, but she hasn't got the truth out of me yet. At least I didn't have to explain Moony's. Pass me those beans.' He nodded to a small bowl of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans.

'No, too lazy to move. So if she thinks Prongs comes from your manhood and Moony comes from his furry little problem… Why does she think I'm called Padfoot?' As he spoke, Sirius popped a handful of beans into his mouth. Catching James's annoyed look, Sirius grinned and threw a few at James's head. 'Here, catch.'

'You're such a git,' James said, as a bean hit his glasses. He opened his mouth and tried to catch the next one with his mouth, but it hit his cheek. With the next one he was successful. 'I told her you have a foot fetish.'

'And Wormy?'

'A bad incident during Potions. Can I have another one?'

Sirius tossed him another bean, which James caught again.

'Good one,' Sirius said, impressed.

'Hey, I wasn't a Chaser for nothing.'

'I thought you'd bribed your way in.'

James kicked him. 'Sometimes I really prefer you in your dog-form, did you know that? At least then you can't talk.'

'My dog form is awesome.'

'Maybe you should make it permanent.'

'It _would _be fun, I guess,' Sirius said. 'I could be your pet and you'd have to take care of me and I could lie on Lily's lap whenever I wanted and look under her skirts, and nobody would notice…'

James got one of the beans he'd missed from between the pillows and threw it at Sirius's head. 'You're even dumber than you look if you think _I'd _take you in. Maybe Moony would be nice enough, but I know better than that.'

'You're just jealous because you'll never have your belly rubbed by a pretty girl. Believe me, Prongs: there is nothing better than that.' Sirius closed his eyes, a dreamy grin on his face. 'To have them all patting me and playing with me and hugging me. It's great.'

'Now I'm definitely not keeping you as my pet; I could never have girls over for fear you'd… pee on them to mark your territory, or something like that.' James cocked his head. '_Do _you pee to mark your territory?'

Sirius nodded. 'When we left, I owned all of the Hogwarts grounds. Not that there are many other dogs, but…' He shrugged.

'Merlin. I've got very vivid images of waking up and discovering you've peed all over the place.'

'As a human or a dog?'

James groaned. 'It was as a dog. Now it's as a human. Why do you always make me think stuff like this?'

'Your brain comes up with it. But all this talking about peeing has made me realize it's time I do some. Don't eat everything.' With some difficulty Sirius got up from the couch; James immediately took advantage of his absence by claiming the new empty space. While Sirius was in the bathroom, James leafed through last month's _Quidditch Weekly_, wondering if he should buy a new broom.

He was just reading about the new Cleansweep when a big, black dog jumped on his stomach.

'Oof! Padfoot,' he groaned, trying to push Sirius away. 'Sod off, you're heavy.'

Sirius did get off, wagging his tail. He barked twice and then rolled over, offering James his tummy.

James raised his eyebrows. 'Now there are no beautiful girls around, I have to rub y – you didn't pee in the bathroom, did you?'

Sirius shook his head and barked again; after so many years of hanging out with Sirius as a dog, James knew that bark meant impatience. He leaned down and started rubbing Sirius's belly, yawning while he did so. It was getting late; he should kick Sirius out soon.

He looked up when the lock clicked, the door opened and Lily came in. She looked tired and the first thing she did was to step out of her heels.

'Hey,' James said. 'How were things at the _Prophet_?'

Taking off her coat, she said, 'Horrible. Two hours ago news came in of an attack in Portsmouth and guess who was sent out to cover it?' She took the pins from her hair and shook her head. 'I'm exh – is that a dog?'

'What?'

James followed her gaze and saw Sirius, sitting very still and looking the part of a good, well-behaved dog, up to the puppy-eyes.

'Oh, er, yes, it is,' he said, getting up. 'Would you like some tea?' He moved to the kitchen, avoiding her look, but he could still feel it on his back. He tapped a kettle with his wand.

'Why is there a dog in our house?'

'Green tea or rooibos?'

'James.'

Reluctantly, he turned around, only to see that Lily had taken a seat on the couch's arm rest and was now tickling Sirius under his chin. There was a tired smile on her face as she said, 'She's adorable.'

'Er, yeah. She is,' James said, unable to repress a grin when Sirius pricked up his ears. 'I… one of my colleagues was going away for a couple of days and asked me to take care of her. I should've asked you, of course, but it was a bit of a last-minute thing. Do you mind?' As he spoke, he picked up the kettle and filled two cups with hot water. Just to be on the safe side, he made both rooibos and green tea; it was of vital importance Lily didn't get annoyed with him now.

'Thanks,' she said, as he handed her a saucer with the cup. She looked down at Sirius, who was wagging his tail again. Holding the saucer with one hand, she used the other to fondle Sirius's head. 'How long is she staying?'

'Just tonight,' James said. He sat down next to her and kissed her cheek. 'You look tired.'

'I am. Dog-tired. I'm going to bed in a couple of minutes, I think.' She leaned against him and he put an arm around her waist, wishing Sirius would evaporate.

'So, where is she – what's her name? – sleeping tonight?' Lily asked.

'Her name's Paula,' James said, remembering Sirius had once said he hated that name. 'And I thought she'd probably be fine in the living room. It's just for tonight and she's very well-behaved.'

'If you say so. But I'm not cleaning it if there's any poo anywhere.' She yawned. 'I haven't got the time. Bloody _Prophet_.'

'What time do you have to get up tomorrow?'

'Six. I'm the new girl, so all the stupid little tasks are left for me. Yay.' She laughed when Sirius rolled over to his back, and started rubbing her hand across his belly. 'Are you sure we can't keep her?'

'Very sure.' He kissed her again, trying to distract her and succeeding. 'Why don't you just go and take a long bath and then go to bed, and tomorrow we'll do something fun together?' he said, caressing her cheek with his thumb.

Her green eyes, a bit bloodshot from the exhaustion of doing extra hours all week, lit up at the thought. 'It's a date,' she said, kissing him on his lips. 'That bath sounds like a very good idea.'

She took her cup with her to the bathroom. The moment she had locked the door behind her, Sirius changed back into his human form.

'Paula?' he asked. 'Really, Prongs?'

'Hey, you're the one who was being fondled by my girlfriend,' said James.

'You stupid wanker. Well, looks like I'll be staying the night after all.' Sirius took Lily's place, his arms crossed in front of his chest and a broad grin on his face. 'D'you think she'd let me sleep in bed with you?'

James glared at him. 'Don't even think about it.'

'Already am, Prongs, already am.' He turned back into a dog and jumped onto the couch, where he curled up and closed his eyes.

James shook his head, grinning, as he went to bed. A little while later he was joined by Lily, who wrapped her arms around him. 'James?'

'Hmm?' he said sleepily.

'I was thinking, that dog was reminding me of someone, but now I know who.'

He tensed. 'Hmm?'

'She's the striking image of Bathilda Bagshot.'

James grinned. 'Yeah, now you say so, she is. I'll tell her in the morning.'

'You do that, James. Good night.'

'G'night.'


End file.
